turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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