Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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