I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
