my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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