Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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