She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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