I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
false alarm. still invincible.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
