I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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