Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
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no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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