wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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