just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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