READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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