We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
