...so i touched it.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
