Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
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she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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