How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
