if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
