i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
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sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
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The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision