walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?