Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
