when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think I died a long time ago.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
