I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
