to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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