We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
