omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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