so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize