Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
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