you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
