I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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