i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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