You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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