Why are handjobs necessary in class?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
