well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
