So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize