I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
