I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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