If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
There are leaves in my underwear?
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