Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
