I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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