Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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