I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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