I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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