Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
