Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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