dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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