Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
