Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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