I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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