she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Someone signed my nipple.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
