Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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