Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
