Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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