tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
