Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
