Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
420 ftw
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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