I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
