You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
