omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
