I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
